she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
