so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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