Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Barsexuality is the new black.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
