let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize