You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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