Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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