it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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