lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i dont even know how to be here
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
