My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
