we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
