isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
