What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
