Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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