I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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