i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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