found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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