Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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