You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
