How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I will be naked everywhere
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
