i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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