I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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