I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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