dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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