Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
