i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He shit in the fireplace
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
