Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize