C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
