He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We were destined to go to rehab together
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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