Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
