Bisexual people are plain selfish.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
