i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
