I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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