You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
