Will you blow on my dice?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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