Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need to calm my uterus...
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