i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize