Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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