i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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