Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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