so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
