she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
