2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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