Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
