his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
