I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
