Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
