You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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