But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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