I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize