shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
