I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
smell my finger.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
