Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize