i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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