Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
