Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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