I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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