He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
