Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
