thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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