Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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