Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
