I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize