I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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