i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
