it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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