I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If its not for food we ain't going out.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
