i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize