Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
