thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize