Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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