i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
