i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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