We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
