Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
