Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
